WORD FOR REVENGE

 After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter

to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw that it was so beautiful.

Saint Peter came by; the woman said to him "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word", Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About six months later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him

that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?" "Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you

died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And

then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I

traveled all around the world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my head,

and here I am. How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word", the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"Czechoslovakianian."

VIEWING THINGS PRACTICALLY

                  

 As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".

Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.

Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.

Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"

Holmes: "Someone stole our tent"